The Gemini
/for Lenore 21Jun1994


Don’t give up on yourself:
Be that as it may, darling
that June’s tunes,
lets things wrench themselves
in order to be free.
Earmarked, branded
but not tattooed
for the cow of the Moon you are
secretly and now openly
appreciating the Sun:
in olden times I would have worshiped it
behind the Moon’s back.

I simply am both inside me Gemini
day after my 59th birthday
wondering why
I never grow up
wondering what
psychiatrist I ought to have seen
to have clear vision & focus
in order to become that great thing
I thought I might become:
a lesser dingbat of the later 20th Century?
a minor pundit of local fame?
to even have achieved that
takes human organizational focus
not the scattered light of delight
I range about in
doing the same thing over & over
& enjoying it more
rather than progressing.
Oh progress
kicked by your toe
out of the way.
I’m a Southwesterner, they say
non-cow on
non-ranch
in non-western togs
a Non-Southwesterner
born here & in here
to the end
of which I’m a tiny glimmer part.
I’ll hail what comes in through my
non-traditional radio
appreciating the Earth of our little pleasance:
this constant unending work just to maintain
& a little bit, grow.
As the body slows down the duties mount.
So that this focus on fame
dissipates
what little left there is
to dissipate.

All is this voice left to woo you
into the mediocrity that is the best of life:
there’s so much there below you
suffering in hovels & shacks rejected
and those above with diamond-studded bulls on their mind
jack off the stock market with messy regularity
and combine their professional skills
to buy without understanding
without empathy for past & present lives
they raid in order to create more high-class garbage
on the landscape & in the county landfill.

So I listen to my wacky radio (Cocteau & Spicer gave me)
which says: you’re right there in the middle
where the flow affects the most:
stay tuned to this station
you of Moon & cow & Sun & heaven & Earth
& turkey kingdom steel & metalwork &
high computer tool lovers
gather what you pray will happen
happens.
You exist for today
and the rain that started long before dawn on
the longest day of the year, today.
Oh Summer Solstice, right now coming
at 8:45 AM.
My wee birthday greets you
as a life-long friend.
May we extend our energies together
and this rain is the introduction of the borrowed monsoon
season
from the Gulf of Mexico & Pacific Ocean.
We have been burning up now to be cooled.
Without gardening, you are a fool.
Meaning me: I can only speak for myself
& my occasional inner radio.
“You’ve always been a caretaker, my friend”
my wished for friend says to me.
“Let’s have a dialogue
until our dialogue becomes real.”
Are you my radio
or are you me?
Don’t give up on yourself:
just be me.
You be you,
& me be me.